12/6/2023 It's December. Hello, my friend convinced me to write this, also (jan luu) happy almost birthday! This is my probably really bad LTE. I don't particularly want to spell check any of this... But honestly I think I can out write my friend pretty fast, I'm notably good at saying a lot and noting at the same time. At least that's what I've been told. Its 3am and I should go to sleep but that's scarier than the pain of staying up. I was just thinking about that time I had surgery and they gave me bubble gum flavored gas. I didn't know you could flavor gas... The type of surgery I had left a burning smell in my mouth and nose, sene they did burn something away litearaly. The weird part is I rembere as the counted down the same smoky smell filling the mask. Maybe my brain filled in the gap of time, because it felt like I bliked with only a secound of hyperaware darkness, or maybe the bubble gum was really bad. IS this something you never wanted to read? and is starting with that story a bad idea for my LTE? Probably, but it sure does fill some space! (well not now that I've gone back and eddited things) I'm thinking about music. I'm listening to a song on repeat. I really should sleep, I have late work to do. Oh, and my pronouns are They/them unless you disagree, then call me whatever you want. I guess and you can call me Red! Not that anyone reading this would call me. Or refer to me.... um. Sonic the hedgehog, am-I-right? I was just watching an hour long documentary about chao. They are the made up creatures that inhabit the Chao Garden in Those sonic games or something. The person was talking about their technical game stuff, it was interesting but i prefer discussing the nonsense story behind it all. The "Chaos" are fay like creatures, think, a blue orb, with orb limbs, and a teardrop head, and wings. It also has a floating orb above its head. The floaty orb is yellow, and changes into a heart if they're happy, or a spike if they are evil. Which is apparently something they can do. The magic gardens are nice, but time is a little warped when you enter a chao cave. They're called Chao's because they are part of a god-like entity, and magical force labeled chaos. What's insane is no characters in the current story know this, they pronounce it like chow as well. The little guys have no gender and lay eggs sometimes if they headbut another chao careing-ly. Chaos is like a water demon thingy, chaos energy is magic or something, and chaos emeralds are magic DIAMONDS. only one is green, if we don't count the MASTER EMERALD. Anyways, capitalize or whatever made the protectors of said master emerald try and harvest the power for... war purposes? something like them wanting to scare off possible enemies and get a taste of ultimate power. Only one gal was not into that, and summoned the water demon guy or something. I wasn't really paying attention to well, but chaos gets sealed into the master emerald, the chao go into hiding, somewhere along there the chao form a black market, (if you go to my page you can access the dark web btw) Anyways, master emerald brakes temporarily and chaos gets let out, gets all evil, but main character syndrome kick in and sonic obliterates the demonic corrupted chaos. In case you are wondering, I'm typing this directly into neocities and the style is chaos. Anyways, The magic system is op and I'm planning to research it so i can understand what made the blue boi blue. But that's a topic for another 4am. Goodnight.
12/23/2023 Ow, owch my eyes. When i was in like- thhhirrrd? grade... uhh I came up with a story, and i worked on it (only in my mind) till around 7th, i think. So baceicly I should write it out, or at least exlaine it here, becuae the story is LONNNGGGGGg! And it dose not make sence, its got many plot holes, but thats ok. So baceicly [time is 1:08am] There is a house, its a white house with wooden exterirere. And in there, lives a lady and her husband, shes aroud 42 and he is like 51, and they met later in life, when she was around 34. And they want a faimly, so they adopt a girl and her older sister. This girls name is Daylight, but i realised thats wired so pretend shes actuly named Sola. And her oldersister is Midnight, but I realsied thats dumb and so its soething like... uhhh Maz. sure- and so Sola is 7, and Maz is 9, and they dont look verry blood related but im prity sure they are. Maz has a verry pail skin, green/gray eyes, black hair, and she dresses qwite plain. Shes verrymuch a people pleaser, and gose with the folw. Sola couldnt be more difrent in personality, she is bold eazly angerd and verry opinoyinated, she had orange hair and freckles, blue eyes, qwite skiny, and even shorter compared to her oldly tall sister. Maz, as the older sister, had a lot of preshuer on here to take care of everything, expecitly sence her parents were much older than the avrage kids. As they grow up, The ladys husband died (i think the faimlys last name was something like Tomson. And so Ms.Tomson sent them to a charter school like bording school place? Were Maz baceicly intrialises the strickt rules from there, while tryin her best to protect here litle sister, but Sola is HATEING this, she thinks everyone baybeis her, and as they bacicly start highschool together, and go back home, she realsies everyone likes her "perfect" sister WAYYY more. At fist Maz likes the kind atention, but realsies that a lot of the guy atentiun was because they want to date her, and her demi-ace self is terififed now. She dosenet know shes gay, she dosent know what gays are, and she thinks she needs to be in a relaisonship with on of the dudes. So she trys to not regect the unwanted moves. (my hand iches for some reson ahhhhhhhhh) But shes suffering horibly, ad can barly pass her classes, but she overworks herself after school BAD. Sola is angry at the world and her mom still bairly pasys atention to her, but because shes yougher, she cant leave the house when she gets home, unlike Maz who stays in her room by choise. So nobody REALY talks to eachother and its worse with there dad gone, he defnitly didnt care for them, but it was beter than the ruthluss rules of Ms.Tomson. And neather girl has any friends, sure people talk to Maz, but she dosent dare tell them about herself. She ovoiseds geting close incases it ends up like her sister who hates her. But now its spring brake, and Maz dosent have a buch of work so she gose out to "the park" she says. And Sola decided she wants to make a real friend, shes mad them before, but the moving and anger isues hasent let her keep fridns well. shes bizy riping up the regurler shcool uniform, and realsies that from her windo, she can see into the nayburs room. She sees a girl with a short brown bob, with hazl eyes,
12/24/2023, so ops, i fell asleep last time i was wrighting, anyways, is it ok if i spell check this all later? Because I want people to be able to read my horible writing, (its 2:29am) AHHHHH not sleeping for a whole day or so uhhh the efects are hiting, my eyes are blury, sence whn was it silver week? alsow THE ART! they made the ofial art, its of shadow, and his in a lil trench coat, and looking at blue shoues, wich is obviusly a parillele, makeing him think of that time he wached his sister die, but as me and the rest of sonic obsesesd internet put it, he realy likes heels, and he wants to bought them. But yea, i thought it was strange how much silver art was being made, turns out it was the canon silver week, LOL. As an artist.... i realy want to draw too, STOP JUDEING ME FOR EASLY wantin to induge in art trends! Ahhhh (don't turn on me yet) i should stop writing so late, like im crazy BUT NOT THIS CRAZY! i sware, um. Oh and its chismas tomorow, cool! i got my mom a basket, and coffe, so u filld the basket with the coffy things,and then fake wraped it to look like a gient coffe cup. Im sad that i barly got anything for people. yes. yeah. ok ill stop now and go to bed before i make another 48 hours of awakenes or smth... GOOD slep. WAIT tell me how to space my parigrafs plz, its not workin D: ok now good night, bye. nvemrind, i want to tell yoyu this, i think i will have the worst Longest text ever. AND I HOPE I WIN if thats a catigory of winnin. the G key dosent work well, i also natuly talk like that, without prenounsing all the sounds. im also dyslexic, writing is like me worst skill, therfor i think my text will be longest unless spelling is super improtant, also everthing i say is dumb. Mouth.
ODONTODACTULS SCALUS. best animal, secod best? Maind wolf. anyways my eyes are litlery bluring, gn.
1/2/2024 So... my last thing did NOT SAVE i wrote it on the 1's, yesterday... aaaaaaa... i want to eat and talk so ill write more later maybe. Its later, its dnd now. im in da club. tip: if u gutar with nails it will brake your nails. note: i dont know what sharp in sound vs. pitch means. But its something with vibrations. i am unconsius? they are to close together. uhhhhhg wirdos being in love (they are strange) My movie is broken forever Endevers. I don't eat sand. Therfore, God will take all of the sticks in the world and we will explode, my art teacher told us we were going to make a tribuit piece and i could only think of the hungergames, wops, i dont have anyone i want to tribut to, or how, or why so what. Im sad cuz i put some random writing into my lte yesterday but its gone now and i can't add more too it, i saw a picture of a character runing thruh a field and theyer was leafes, and i liked the face expreshion, and colors of the picture, and i wanted to write about that sean but i can't write outside of 1's person, like at all, my wrighting sucks, and so i didn't, and it was ok, not the best. But then i have to go home, boooo, i dont wana. I would rather be... idk not pertictulry in class or in lunch bc i like when i have something to do, but like not when people care about what im doing, and i have no other hobbys than art and randomly writghting, but thats difcult and omnis. empty space filld with nonsence. Its beter then tring to figure out what to eat, i have no idea what to eat or how to make my head stop feeling empty, in a lertal sence, i wish my head was empty, but its not and thus i must focuse on thw phiscal symptms before mental ones i think. Its hard to say things i think because I know just how often people want me to explane, asking is worse because then theyd need me to explane what im asking. Stop reading and drink sime water (or flaverd water) There is one qwestion, Should i wait for the right time, for when the tide setlets , or must I run against the lashing waves in the cold sea to swim? I DONT know what i want to eat at all, i could tell you this, but id rather not move my mouth i likke knowing my actions are un-knoticed, and if i move in a way were it aperes i am foucsed then you dont reply. isnty that Cool facts. Tired eye, tiered talk two times the water. 3x the back pain, my sholders hurt and i want to change something but nothing will be beter befor it gets worse yk? thats just how unexplaible sholder pain gose, So how long do you think i need to write befor- idk. SENCE WHEN ARE THERE 3 uhhh buttens. its even later, I RECOVERD THE ENTREEE!!!!!!! (note from me on 5/6/2025: What the fuck was this entry???? was I just trying to put as many words as I could (not that thises are all words))
POSTED ON THE 2D STILL(1/1/2024,) OMG ITS NOT PAST 12am!!1 finaly, my first entry that isent stupidly writen late!!! its like 9 tho, JACOB AND THE CATS. that sounds like a band i would lisent to if it was real. I like cheek face, and tally hall, and concreat leaf, and cry wank, and lemon demon. Those are all bands. BACK TO ME, so I have done not a lot of what i need too (by standerds of SCHOOL). Also It was my birthday wow. and I HAD... uhhh ICE-SCATEING scateing. scate, skait, skcait, skateing. AND LOK at my wriin: It’s mid day, the nightmares priest but I got out. I ran through the tall grass, the bushes, till I reached the shaved land near the road. Buttercups and daisies tickle my nose and arms when I squat out of view. Wind lashes from behind me as I lean forward. And, the motorcycle? It’s gone now. I knew she was sick of me, I knew nobody would ever stay! {end of wrighting} so i wrote that cuz i saw art and it made me think of it.
ITS STILL THE secound of jan or something, but i want to say, I totaly forot homopobic kids existed!! UHHGG my brother got bulied by this stupid homophic kid, and i used to know his supid homipobic brother, well i didnt know he was at the time, but he was a total... jack hammer as s. I told my bro to not aruge with him next time, just tell him to shut up. ALSO MY CAT IS LAYING ON MY PILLOW!! adorible but i wish she'd lay, anyware els. Im going to eat potstickers yay. i got sonic murch for my birthday. yes. no. so. im gona eat now good byeeyeyeyyeyeyyeyeyeeeee.
1/2/2024 wow, wow, I was all like: i should be more less nervous cuz nobodys hates me, nobodys gona be mad at me for making mistakes and not understaning things! But today I was walking throuh the chairs with my friends, imagen a theater like seting, And this girl who seems like she hates me, turns around in the most annoyed angry voice ever, loudly anouses: Move. I knew i couldnt walk back because theere were too many people that way, and in panic, i realised i was tall enough to step over the seats without tuching it ( thus I steped over a chair, in the center of the largest room in our school, full of everyone in my grade, including the main tech teacher guy, who then YELLEs at me! Verry angryly, annd everyone gose quite. My frind in my group had also steped over the chair (she is also tall) and he was so angry at (in his opion) my DISREPECTFULL guesture he started repeatdly yelling "DON'T STEP OVER THE CHAIRS" like hes chanting it. I am perticularly pathetic and wished to hide, not fully out of emarsmet but also fear, and as i huryed away to the other side of the room. I was not verry able to speak up after that. Luckly my friend gave me a hug, thankyou. Then in geogrify (idk the one with places and stuff) uhh bacicly the teacher calld us jack[hammer]as-es. And said we wer "stupid or soleless for cheating on the tests and ya woulnt have that many problems if ya simply talked to her!!" And then, I got a wonderfull email about how I must be lieing about something. So those were the terifing parts of my day. a nicer thing is the dome is coming along well, it will catch fire soon, but in a good and expected way.
(1/26/2024) what the actuel fruk did i write.... uhhh ok it disapeared. so i guess nevermind. Amny mway, If i use another random transtion in my wrighting I will have to update my pronounes. What the god are my words. Someone should never let me near a key bord again. How are you reading this with your face? Soooo should I, i dont know... I kinda forgot the point of puting meaning into words, And now your ears are going to be gresey with my writen statements. Don't trust whatever I'm saying. I have four teeth. Words are easly regetable and ive said a lot of deleatable stuff resently. So lets start with a fresh page! just kiding, that would defet the purpus of all thies chacters, iv'e got to win the most words you should know! 5 without the fff is vieve, now remove the ve at the end, and you get vie, and now teh, but write it with an i, vieti-men. Is that how you spell it? Vietimen D defishencey (there is no d in m-e) but like, in a saveir way. sa-v-e-i-rrr savire? idc. Ive got too much time not on my hands. hands, abslutly strange. theres more to this, a lot more but I cant wright right now, I have many thoguths i want to put here but i need to wait for that ok. uhghh i sware everthing i can say could be said but i am atlost for thoguth, if you are thinking about the word i say, make sure rember I need you to know you exist corectly.
(2/1/2024) Immmmm supppppperrrr sick. Like, ill. But, I realy didnt want to miss the trip to the art musiem. So i went 2 school even tho my nose was cartoonishly runny. I missed the day before, and i'll probibly miss tomorow. They were supost to be on that bus with us, but they have passed. Our art teacher said, she couldn't bring herself to remove the name from the list, even when other teachers told her to do that. Im glad she told us about that. It seams almost all the staff, and most the students are just trying to move on, because it would be incovinet to freez over everything. But, I think thats what she thought would happen. [I wrote more but I'm unsure of how respectfull it is and thus, while I miss them and want to say things, I'm going to leave that here] But I wana talk more about the Art musiem. It was coooooooool!!! It was focusing on black artists work, I noticed a lot of focuse on the body, tetures, sillowets, and shells. Spicificly Cowrie shells, wich are a big part of many african cutures. I realy loved the collage picese, and the patern work, OMG PATERNS ARE MY FAVEEE!!!!!! i love paterns, i love lines, i iiiiiii am . paternss. collage looks like college. luckly college is said and spellt like lege, like ledge. so i can maybe rembere it. Also, I hope to god he dosent ever find or read this, but the dude who is reallly prity, and in my art class was there, and he talked to me, and then later on in math, he , went up to me and talked to me, wich is supriseing and verry cool and i would never be in love and also am an idiot i dont know what your talking about. Did I mention hes an amazing artist? Did I mention im an artist- Did i mention i am obsesed with art??? well, you could guess that part by now. ummmmm so yea, we talked, but i was so verry verry sick and dieing that i had to run away to trash my mask becasue my nose was runing so bad, i snesed like 7 times durning the showcase, but I think sence I tryed to hide the fact it was my discustiong face makeing me leave in a hurry that he thought i didnt want to talk to him... q-q Ok, now ive fished wrighting all that i can do normal things like talk 2 frineds, byeeee.
(2/3/2024) its 1am, i hope your doing ok, Maybe i will even run into the water. But i want to let go. i dont need to wait for tite to begin changeing. Like the chick sam from supernatial kinda thought was hot but was to distrated by the evile painting, said: I could get hit by a bus tomorow. There in no point in reaching a goal if I only like the end, thats not how fuffliment works. why? MAn i love wrighting, well realy just the part were i brake the sentece into a set up and then a qwestion/comnet to the set up. ITs cheesey and I use it too much but its too late to stop now, right- like I could genuwinly have put a . there but i didnt. or even a "..." you know? it may be the couhf medicen, the music, or a random sence of intunishen but i totaly belive i am [high *this is a note from future me, idk why the fuk i wrote this eairler LAMO]. This is why you dont buy off brand vershions of medicen, even of its cheeper. I just realised the music was not looped, oops. I wonder if an isot like me can actuly learn an instrment qwicly? honesly i might just be a disapoinment. there is a mirror in my room, i need to clean my room. I havent brushed my teeeth in a while and i have a dentist apointment soon- I need to make a longer entry i think, like a lot of long entryes. then i will have the longest text evers. Did eveere tell you about ADHD. I'm happy I discoverd i have it, it helped me to uncover a lot about why I strugle so much. But also, It lets me notice myself in a way were I realise who i am is what i am and how much of me is already there. I didnt realy think i was person, but in actuality I did't know how to discribe the person I felt like.I mean some people might kinda loop me into emo, gay, geek, teachers pet, loner, but never quite felt solid in any of that. Without knowing I was disabled, I totaly thought I'd just one day click into some conventional catiagory. IF i were to catogrise myself as an identy on lte I'd use "dramatic but can't spell". Why are my words powerd my emotions, my thoughts? they twist and turn, devleping befor my very hands. Why would I say any of this to a websight where someone I know can read? Why do I feel no consicuise will come from pouring intment feelings here? the word intement feels weird discriptive word as it relates to relashenships but I guess we all have a relationship with our words. For example, there is a chance you read that and thought "is this entry eddited later on becasue it was so cringe I could't bare contiue writing in it?" no, i dont. I hate words tbh. But stiill, only I know what thoughts were behind them, and only I can qwicly forget them. Not on purpus! ITs just, so many thoughts are behind them, and ther all intertwined. Anyways, back to adhd. I ... actualy nevermind, i gota gooo byeee.
(2/8/2024) I cleaned my room. my hands are shaky. I did some of the work I need to do. Will I still draw if I go blind? I want someone to know I'm feeling. That's all. - I'm cracking and complaing about the shell that cuts my side lol. um. Sonic the hedgehog time? So, in the comics there is this metal viruse, When tuching orgainc mater, it transforms it into robotic parts, robots. The trasformation take a phiscal form, and when its compleat it takes comands the husk to do the given comand. Witch in this case, is to spred! The more phisical contact someone/something has with the infected, the faster it spreds. So far, the only cure was to run at sonic speed, but jk its no cure! It simply reverses the efects, with minamal contact it can fully take over a mobian in say, 20-15 ish minuts. smaller things, like bugs & grass take like min or less. Repreated contact, lets say it grabs onto you, its going to increse the rate of spreding, but once it lets you go, it gose back to the orignal ratio, just now more compleate. So anyways, Badnicks, (bad robots made by the doc) Are powerd by a small criter, comenly a flicky, wich looks like tweety bird from tom an jerry, and ocaionaly has a bow/bowtie. Thises robots dont have memories of the criter, but it dose create a new sole, sometimes. The smaller less programed robots, like think romba but evile, wont make a whole new spiret, nor expernece thoughts or fealings. Sometimes they dont even need a flicky! this gose for drones, lazer fireing things, automatic doors and computers, transforming chambers, and divises that rewqire piloting. Now, badnicks with criters, wich are a ton of them, uswaly arent on front lines, but qwicker mishions such as retreving stuff, capturing peopel/ things, or gaurding. the ones with soles and a lot of thougth are noteable by there ablity to retreate, and have names. they are uswaly closeer to the docter, like a personal butler, chef, assistent, note taker type deal. Or they piolet other robots, or just... go? Sometime they just go do stuff.... Anyway, theres two more, thisw ones dont just make qwips, and stradigys, but have feelings, they can have friends, and kinda just are people who wont bleed blood, but oil. and they can be repaired. The two catigorys here are, ones who are forever loyal & free will having ones. The ones with simpaler jobs, often have more free will as they are less likley to need a reson to do them. But ones with intent of murder, will uswaly feal complied to obay or worship the robotnic empire! They may not even like fightigntign or gaining power, but its just how theyer wired. The most intresting case in my opinon, is Metal Sonic. He is named and disighnd off of Sonic. With the ablity to just about match the blue blur in speed, and in looks, he becomes qwite difrent from the other badnicks. other than the obviuse robotic look, he difers with shorter sharper strait spikes, and has black eyes with red puepils, his abdmen has a hole, were occastionaly there is a chaos emreld. He also has no mouth, and only speaks a few times throut the series, one being were he "evolves" his form. In the sonic ova he was made from copied dna [they call it life data], and thoughts from Sonic, Wich let him ick up maniresims and fighting skills.They call him Hyper Metal Sonic. He made a "beep beep" wich aperntly Sonic could understand as "this world isnt big enughf for the both of us and one of us has to go" After more fihtigning inuses, Metal- well, he gose to the "old man" who is an owl guy, and puts "sonics favorit cloths" on the owl dude. I dont know if this was a mistranslaion or it just is supost to spite the blue blur. Then he gose to compleate his goal of, BLOWING UP THE OVERWORLD??? with golbal wormin of something, hes trying to triger a volcanic exploshion. Tails is trying to goinside metals memory bank, and let in sonics personality... idk Metal blows up something, and then sonic is there, and then they fight more- and then this line pops up: "You might know everything I'm going to do, but thats not going to help you sence I know everything your going to do! Strange isent it?" but dispite this, metal isnt worn out like sonic, and get an uperhand, tails starts transfuring- something- and so metal gliches, and get punched away. Sonics still tired and hes ingord, then the prezedent is there, and about to blow up, but sonics to hurt, and dosent get there in time, sudendly metal pulls them out to safty unharmed, but hes like torn up bad, and falls into the valcic pit, sliding down into the lava, sonic jumps in after trying to pull him out as his friends yell for him to come back, beliving metal will pull him into the lava, but as there finaly closeenuf to grab, metal slaps sonics hand away, directly tranfuring a mesage (i think) saying "there is only one sonic-" and then lets himself melt into the lava. as Sonic screams out at his death. It cuts to later, Sonic is sad, and qwite, but the others kinda just poke him and say chear up! And then they get distracted and run off. WHAT DOSE THIS MEAN??? What the heck, Metals goal was to blow up the world and stop/kill sonic, did he think he was sonic? no, he says theres only one, and dies. So what happend? I think metal realised he dosent want to hurt the world or its people after seeing it all through sonics life and personality, Bacicly he gulpd a bunch of new emotions such as hope or love for the world, and he too, wants it to live peacefully. So why not grab sonics hand? Like he said earlire, the worlds not big enuf for the two of them, one has to go, he didnt let go of thise fealings or memories. He belives that this world should exist, and that sonic diservs to live, so he, metal, leaves inorder to protect sonic, who wanted to protect metal. THE END. the truth is, i dont think they put that much thought into this, plus its a dub. But it puts an intresting lens to view the CURENT cannon Metal. I would tell you more, but my arms are shaky and i need to memorise some asl stuff, for my class tomorow :( i hope i do well because I want to learn to be fluent in asl and this is a big asinment in my class. I'm also learning 3d modling sometimes. Also I may have two tests to redo for geografy but I havent read the text all for it. I need to stufy that too i guess then, I cleand my room and brushed my teeth, but now i have to keep cleaning, and brush my teeth again tonight, and thats a lot of tasks, and im tired, and i am somehow supost to also talk to people and soltialise. I love having friends and family, but keeping up with people, and spending time, and taking care of myslef, and takein classes, its hard to balence still. Sometimes I want to be alone again, because Relasionships that work well, only work when both sides try. Being afraid of things is worse when other people aren't afreaid of it. It makes me feal weaker then I already am, and everyone is so ready to push me throuh the fear, and then I freak out, and brake down. And it's my fault for freaking out. Honelsy I dont know what I should do, and i think im the only one. But hey, Im alright rigth now, And maybe I can push my self to save this file and brush my teeth. My key bord sucks, and im dyslexic, and I so badly want to fix all the spelling erors but I probibly won't. Wish me luck if you want. Thank you for using your eyes on this, chatch ya next time.
(2/9/2024) There a few people who keep wispering and i cant focuse on the leson hapening rn so ill wright instead lol. In ASL guse what! I didnt have to present!!! but that means ill have to turn it in via video wich is the worst!!! but its beter than having to work on it when I dont know halff the words!!! ok, also theres a dance showcase, I hope the dances are good, I think its the older students so thats good, I'm trying to learn to type faster I think i'ts going kinda well, but not a lot, Were talking about agriculture, Its fine I gusee, But I know most of this already, I dont know why I know about it so mutch. I need to study geoligy more, Like, Im not knolegable on crystel compounds but I want to be, Also can the other people stop talking? Any was I will also need to read more, But the teachers talking about Global suply chain. oh ya, the counter, It might not work because I dont know how to work it, aswell as the fact I have mis spelt everything I think and I don't have spell check. The people in my class will not be qwuite, cant pay atention to shit, oh well. my back hurts, and so dose my legs, like the musles in the front top of my legs. thys? thighs? Idc, not in anatomy. How many words do I have to put in here before I have the longest text ever... I dont know. Oh god my coughf was bad, it intruped class. Shhhhhhhhh anyways. Rocks, I know about the hardness scale, 1-10, mesured by which can scratch what. A dimond is the hardest, at 10, because it cant be scrached by aanything other than dimond. I also think fractur paterns are cool as heck. Some things shater when the brake, like glass, but some fracture, into shapes, Geomitree. The way layers layer, and paterns that form are less of my knolege, so I need to study that. I hope someone looks over my sholder and asuoms Ime codeing. because It looks cool, I keep looking up at the bord as thought Im taking notes on this, so some might think thats what I'm doing, also I think the dance show case is soon, I hope so, I hope I get to sit in the back because its darker wich is beter for compfort. I cant handle ramom converstaitons this is driving me mad, like my sholders, I keep siting up and poping my sholders because they ake. ack? no ake. It feals like I have something on my back and it's bothering meeeeee badly. also I didnt realsie how wide the neck is on this shirt, the one im wareing currently, Like I knew a bit, but I asumed that its because its a big shirt, Ive worn this shirt sence 4th grade. It still fits fine. wired. Am I ugly? The thing is I dont look at myslef, I dont care what I look like, but when people complenmt me or point out something like my cloths, or hair, or pose in photos it remidns me that the are seeing a face, a human face, and a human body, like wow, thats some sci-fi stuff r something I am a human? Jk all lte'rs are figments of your imagination. Ok wached the dance showcase, I hate siting in the creeky chairs, and i didn't sit by my friends OR in the dark wich are both prefreable to me- booo. Some of the dances were realy good! some were a litle below my expectations, but hey- I couldn't do the baciscs of what they do, expetaily sence my everything is hurt a bit. It was cold today, I knew I should have brang a scarf, of gloves, or a hat! I don't have any beanies and I kinda want one. Green one, like mossy green. The word autism is a mash of Autos, refering to self, and the sufux ism, meaning condion or act. The word dosent refer to a state of being yourself though, but more of being stuck inside your head. It's probibly because commen syptoms included avoiding eye conteact, slower learning, not geting jokes or sotial cues and jestures, odd factial expreshions/ not reconising fatial expreshions, selective mutizm, nonverbal, aditory prosseseing isues, and spisific intrests. Not geting others, only likeing certen things, misuderstanding or seamingly ignoreing comunication, is going to look like your only focused on whats in your mind, its comen for people to look of at nothing when lost in thought, not respond. Not geting/giving sotial cues also can look like disrespect, like not saying goodmorieng, or not smiling back. I was going to keep explaining this but, I had to leave and now im back and I wana discribe a fake film instead. So it opens with orcasta music, the narroriater begins tell a story of time, and its biluding up emphasis(wha?), soft colors with blury black leters, spelling love being to focuse "The strongest emotion people can have is" a hand apears with a spray can and wrights FEAR on what we now realise is a windo "fear" Theres a tremalo and the music stops, screan black, and you can hear rain, cam cuts to a rainy street, and zooms in on a leaf, its misty and cool.(oh i started decribeing a cool sean idea) Cam cuts again to spred up footege of a flower growing and then wilting, serounding this is then 4 more flowers, doing the same thing, it riples out multiping the number of serounding flowers, it starts ripling from other directions too, its morfed into the ocen waves.(wait maybe i'm describeing someting I saw) thunder now cruches in the distance and the sea gets darker. CUT I yell at person explaing this sean [its me] because I just rembered why I brang up the word autism, I feel selfish. But that dosent make any sence, and then I realised, the word I was looking for was self obssesed! But it still didnt realy explaine it, And I thought about the badly named name for autizm. Trapd, focused, stuck in ones mind. Well that kinda fits the best. Im all over the place, because "I" am up here in my mind so much. The thoughts keep coming, and I "Know" better, but do I? Trying to figure it out is like trying to unederstand 15+4x=23 if you don't know what variables are, or the fact your supost to be solving for X, And when you do start to understand, and ask for help by asking "hey what is 20-8" and then they look at you wiered because how did you get eather of those numbers? Nevermind, um so when I say traped in my mind, I mean all I do is think about things but there serculateing like germs in a locked room with a fan, the few times I open my mouth (or write aperently) I end up saying a mix of apsilutly random over-anlised misunderstood ocationaly emotional thoughts and maybe a few other things. Dont be like the sun. something something is air. sorry this song is realy catchy. Back to lte-ing I've wrote the word I a lot, mainly because its the first person pronoun used to discribe one's self from there perspective, and this is all form my perspective, I'm talking in 1'st person afterall. Spice04 then sugested atempting second person, but they seamd too much a fool to write like that. Sadly, Spice continued to try explaing there suroundings, hands typing out viuswal imput such as "there was a computer wich would glow" and other poor discrptions. I give up. This is mine, im going to mention me me me me me me in here as much as I want too. Yet that brings me back to my point, When I explaine something, I belive that Im sure of what I'm saying. Well thats not true, I uswaly know I know nothing. But sometimes I forget, and say the dumbst thing, or somethin that can be taken in so many directions. Mostly wrong directions. And its frustrating, because the way people take it almost never that im thinking, and then i worry silentlly, trying to figure out how to resay/ say something els that will fix my mistaken take, and then they will see "me" the way I want them too!!" but then I qwickly reasie Im not sure who I am, and then I am sure of who I am, and then i'm back at sqware( OH MY GODDD im so bored of going over this as an edditor in the future im cuting it here LOL)
LEMON DEMON look at the lyres of the song Fire Motif: [Nature's hot burning parasite/ I'll be hoping for rain tonight/ Maybe time will extinguish me/ But no one knows where this time may be/ Spontaneous combustion of the soul Love, pain, and such emotions are the coal/ Smoke, burning, sparks, and red fire!] there is a strange box that says hide. um Im not going to press it, maybe its a comand though? should I go hide? I dont want to. But it's not going away aaaaa!!!1 So yes, this song, I want hte lyercal talent to wright such a blessad cured lyris. Its litelry just about how fire can be a motif for anything, but also dammmmn the part that repeats, like geez the instrments are the best. wowowo buddy there i wrote qwite the wall, :D !!! I wonder if this is my longest entry? so far ofcores. Never trust me, never trust the text wich flows with the fluidness of rock. Nevver trust the jaged curved edges of a circal. I think Im going to draw or eat fake pizza. hope you enjoyed lossing your ablity to comprehenend both sides of the ciclerler box we call redonculus. eat cake next time!
(2/14/2024) Have you ever just ben able to tell everything about a person without even taking to them, you just hear ther conversations? Maybe you look at them for a second. This girl has a big bright talor Swift shhirt, and a ponytail. Her frind just admited to not knowing her name corectly. Before this person got here, another friend did. She complmented this kid's hair and they said nothing. Then the friend who didnt know her name, came on and complement thier hair, wich got a "thank you" in a reply. She started talking, and the first friend intrupts them for a full minut about how ugly she finds the random boy outside. This Girl is suffering. Theyr taking about Valintins, and they wont shut up about how "ugly" other kids are. ??? Why do people act like this. 0-0 I worrrie Im being mean all the time, I dont say or do things like those girls, buy sometimes I will rant tbout other people who make me slightly angry. Wich is the worst. I don't like being mad at a person for a thing there going to forget by the next hour. I hate hateing people ok? I need to reserch it more. Guys, I have a confeshion, I'm the thought police from the book giver. wait, no, from the book- 1991? it was a date at least, I know that. '98? I never read the book. Buy you know what I have read? The verry Hungry Catipiler, witch you should vote for as best book 2024. Oh yes, it's valintiseday I like valentises, byt more of a, I like puting hart shaped things everywere and dressing in red and pink. Im a fan of decore and apreshiation. Theres a lot of biter things too, like everyday. Being in love sucks, I wish I was never atracted to people ever. I wish proplr cared eqwaly, like as if it was fully a choise to care. You can care as a fealing, but caring is also an act. I just want everyone to try to care. Think about how other people feal, and make them feal beter. That's not eqivelent to forecing them to go party, or telling them to chear up, or even how grate they are, I mean you could do those things, but truly thinking about the uniqe individuwal. I perfrer to try a more qwite way. Instead of telling them I know they are sad, I like to make them laughf, I try to make sure what I say or do always has a clear option to reget it too. (We call this, confrentation never gose well for me lol) I realise people find it most comfort when they know they have control of what they do, without some long emotional consiqwnce to me. I am aware I don't know everything, and that sometimes I know more than others. Many people left me becuase I made mistakes, because I was dumb, or because they were dumb. We hurt eachother even when we try not too. I get hurt by things that nobody else dose. Wether it be words or simply sounds. Reaching for someones hand when they claw at your wrist is hard, and you dont need to do it, But It's qwite nice to know someone sees you as a full human being besides your faluts, and your grateness. So I stive to let everyone know at least
DANGIT! i didnt finish wrighting yesterday, also the wrighting was bad? WHAT THE HELL ME! shut up me. AAAGGG (insert and then removed words about dislikeing my previuse entry) I want to put someting actuyley intresting in here. But uhhhhgg I cant just leave it on this notet, this ugly note. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!! they make me a beter person, and realise my flaws, and make me feel like a full human being, and I want to be aroudn them and there the bessssssssssttttttt (insert and the deleted positive messages about people I know :))
everything will be ok. everything will be ok. everything will be ok. my problems come second. im sorry. im going to spill all my sole to a stranger again. I know it. I know so many things, and I only make them worse. I know nothing. Sleap peacfully, angles wach you if you belive in them. (wat da ducck?) 2/20/2024 at 12:05. (this wasn't a religus brake down, someone had a medical emerence and i needed to make note of the time and for some reseon pulled up my lte- also eveyone was ok later thankfuly)
I (2/23/2024) thought i'd wright something a litle more personal, and insitefull today, thankyou for reeding the follwing, and if you decided not to read todays entry, GO TO HEL- annywho meow meow meow moew meow meow mewo meow, MEOW! meow meow mewo meow, meow, mewo mewoooooooowW Nothing bad ever happens ever. meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww w w w w w w(echo-ech o-e c h o) echo is the name off the cheekface drummer from cheekface the band.(and we're back to insanity) I love cheekface, i love thier music. I should deleat all my other entrires and start from here for the funnys. I want to eat the bag-els they sing about. SINGAPORE is the name of a place. The way my casetn works, makes spelling worse, I just typed blace instead of place! I fixed it thought, but the reson was, when i kinda mumbled it while typeing, [i always muble type] i said (lips closed pah- laysee) wich sound like bah-lays and i was saying it faster, and p is just a teniny tiny ity-bity longer sound to make then b. I do this with other sounds too, but Im not goignt to explane all of them. ASKD is my leaast favorit word for this though, Ask-d ka, duh, ask-d aska-da is a terible word sound to make, its not fluid! So insteade we here in the location in witch i am, say ASK-t but sometimes the t is so silent you only hear "ask(mouth keeps moving)" with enghf space to realise they said askd. ick. ok, ive tryed reeeelllly hard not to think of original chacters for ... sonic the heagehog, IM NOT 13 anymore! not that I was eairler. just thought you should maybe know. ow my cat scatched me eairlyer and i just realised now that it still stings. Back to the most important thing in the world: HEDGEHOGS. actuly my favorit animal is the maned wolf. HEDEGHOGS!!! or howere theyr spelt, (wait seriusly, spelt? thats british!? in english its: spelled- NOPe im britsh now ive decided) So, there is a chacter callded Silver the heagehog, acording to all fans ever, he is like a litle insect, a bug, a picec of weed. I agree compleatly. His head is the weed leaf. I dont know who made him like this but i thank them. Hes a white hedgehog from mobius, well mobius in THE FUTIURE!!! He has golden yellow eyes, and smol ears, oh and on his weed head, he also had too long spikes, instead of a patern like sonic, its more like shadow with a lil fluf on the front, he has knee hight boots, mostly black with cyan front area of the shoes... I dont know know how to describe shoes, I would normaly avoide shose in all aryas of life but there uswaly important features in SONIC THE HEAGEHOG so i can't, the top rim of the boots. Gold barings that can magicly open up with a cyan glow
oops i forghot to keep wrighting oh well. HOW THE HEck AM I SUPOST TO NOT FAIL CLASS. um.
(2/25/2024) woke up from a terible dream where i had somehow forgot to mention "METAL SONIC" is not a hevymetal enjoyer, but rather named metal, as his flesh is litlerly metal. hes a robot not a rock star. this was reALLLY IMPORTANT. i mean maybe he also lisnes to metal music, but its not yet cannon to my knolge, normal sonic definly dose, um. Ok good night now (this was all writen at 11:12)
(3/3/2024)
OH NO OH AHHHH gahahhhb abhbdhbc ooowwww my mindddd. I GOT A BIT SCARED, a bit worried, (edditing note again: litarly just a bucha anxious rambleings that could verry neetly be replaced with anything else) I wish I had pankcakes for breakfast. Everthing I say is stupid. nonscence is what I make, not even 1 cence. (genuinly hey me, do you know the backspace butten exists? you don't need to keep any of that)
(3/4/2024)
Ha, you thought I would go to sleep! look at you, you are a fool. I'm awake. And now i can change the subject to whatever I WANT! withouth ofcirse, feeling uterly un-natreul, some might even say, SUPERNATRAT!!! i would start rambling about supernatal, but i'd rather watch it. My friend who got me into supertnatral rambles a lot about things, and i realy like hearing him talk about it and other things. Sometime he, and others, will say something that i can onyl call, #relatable and i know sotaily, they expect me to be shocked. So I act like that, but truly i wana just say same. TELL ME ABOUT THINGS YOU LIKE, you feel, you think about, tell me stoirs you made up.and ignore my unmoveing emotinaless phisical reaction, i love every word you say, i love hereing about stranges shows, strange bordgames, strane colections, strangs feelings!!!! GIVE ME YOUUR MIND IN AS MANY WAYS AS YOU WANT!!! comuntcating is hard, but i like reseaving comunication. its nice reseaving and being there. thankyou all for existing, i hope reading my meany words is at least an intrestin experence :> Now im going to wach some dude fight eachother while speaking laten. Byreeee brrrryyyyy byyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. night.
(3/6/2024)
Ok, I need to get my game on, my wrightings not fun to read, it makes my friend worry. SO SO so so so and then some. so some. sum. sober. somber, soda, sodiem. sole, solem. Soran. scorn. SCIENCE. Ok schience. shhy hence. sly tence. SCIENCE. Bill nie the science guy. I have a graphing standered to do, but i cant copy and pastes the numberes into the cart, and thus im veery unable to fo it. It would reqwire me to stugle with my dyscaluliea which is the worst of the worst, spelling mistakes, gramer, genral in-compatenvce, its anoying, but when i cant math im just plain done with it. Why do i need to rembere numbers? Why must I recall the times table, or the sqare root? thats stupid, and not my responisblity. In science all i have to do is coppy the numbers, and compare them, and eexplain them in a graf, but theres a lot of numberes and i dont want to put all of them in a GRAPH!!?? google sheets is hard to use too, and I dont want to do this at all. And this was dew the bigning of last month, and i have, posibly 2 days to fish it??? BOO!! *fin-ish it i may add, Its not in the water lost at sea, but I wish it was. Wheat am I right? apples chat. Ive also got to win at tryplanitary, no not the novle, the bordgame. AND I need to play dnd, well i played yesterday but i wish we played like everyother day damn :( I havent fished my asl video eather, nor turn in any of my math asinments, and im beinging to not fully comprehend, or at least slowly comprehend my math lessons wich is freking me out a bit. Im not enjoying those lines and stuff. the litle __|\ (turn it upside-down) SO YEA IM A LITLE idk actuwaly. At the moment im not super stressed. Im woried about things but the preshers not there. Im tired and kinda wish i could lay donw in a bean bag and read. tecneicly i need to read for ap geo, I'd rather not realy but listing to it on the screen readers not too bad, I coought up on qwite a few chapteres that way. YAAY acssesiblity helps people!! Ok now I word more but im bizzy, I've got science to do. Ok
(3/10/2024) ow emotuinal damge -245 also ow my insides -4444444444444444. Im glad im back into a new sercies, this ones wired waky posibly chick flick styled, but beter than obbsesing over the comidy show: comunity and also sonic or tmnt, itxssssss SUPERNATRAUL there gay. the angel castiel is gayer than gay, anyways ill sleep and wrigth a beter entry in the morening good night.
(3/13/2024) take of your sunglasses, and the world becomes bright and clear.(that was just dumb, but i am about to re-write an exerpt from a poetry exocise) Lisent to the world around you. Sccreaming screatching monky brains. Ive got a world to live apon and now the ground sleeps at dawn. The ground drownds, the bird waching from the tree, I crawl a cold deathly sunken space. THe water shakes. The moon brakes, I am flooding the land (alright it wasn't that good)
(3/14/2024) I am once again comptimplateding deleting all this cring, but I would be set back in my lte makeing if i did. Imagen if i was realy good at words and wrighting? that would be cool. My only "talent" is in art. Msbye I'll make an art section in here too. Honesetly, I realy enjoy makeing art!1 like i hust transferd information thro a visuwal meadium!!! (thats kinda crazy) Wrighting so cool thogh, even on the occastion i read other ltes, and think: "Wow the constant practice of wrighting for even something as comidic as longest-text-ever has truly created fun and interessting eleaments of sentinces I can read!" Like YOU ALL ARE COOLER now, So maybe I will actuwaly get beter at wrighting, but i also need to get beter at wrighting. Maybe Ill do some reserch on asstince for dislexic students. They also cansled my adhd meds. :( im gona be unmedicade for a while, or maybe forever. And by cansled i mean, the people makeing them have to stop for a while or forever aagain. they ran out of suplise or mony or soemthing. oh shoot i forgot to bring any instramints, oof. can i still say oof? I will dipite its cool-ness you know? SO Ok now im at school, what do i wright about? supernatral??? is today an art class??? i think it is, i dont mind that. I am enjoying the moment, half the moment, the other half is qwite sad. But its ok, i can shhove those felings in hat, liek all the other messes i have! Goddddd im gona get mroe food if i can. night.
I ... wait, (3/15/2024
(3/19/2024) I think I should just write down what I hear people say. like a moment ago, I just heard a conversation were one kid likes pen, and the other prefers pencile. The one with the penicl said: well a pencil is beter because you can just erase your mistakes. The one with a pen said: Thats the part i don't like! and the so pencil guy says: What- you dont have truble drawing circles? and theone with the pen sai: well thats why i dont draw fucking circles!
(3/26/2024) they blocked neocityes so i may have to say goodbye to my lilte corner of space. But I want to let you know some stuff first. I might have wrote this eairlyer, or not, but here. My friend came over, and she told me about what she wated in the futre, like the life she wishes she had. A log cabben in the woods, with her friends, and a band. She told me about the random detials. And that made me reailse i didnt have a thought for what I wanted my futire to look like. Or well i did, and i wanted to buy a normal looking house and then make a secreat bacemnt to cry in. Thats the most emo shit ive evere thougth, so clearly somethings wrong if im PLANING to hid, and im WAITING for the "Day to relece my emotions". Thats realy stupid. And then I met this guy, I kinda liked, his athstetic is amazing!! And so after depresingly wondering if I should qwit art and go build a beter (more fiting in the system) me, I realised thats stupid. and so theouhg the power of love- or mia projects, i realised that that was also emo and stupid. I realy need to get a beter hold on my whole, "hateing the *inert insu;t* that i am" And tonight, while being sick and listin to epic music [lemon demon hyper world & flamingo legs is seriusly my life rn wich is verry conserning] [NOT TO METION DEEP IN THE OCEN!!!] (ok I'll stop parentheseiseing side thoughts now) ~maybe~ I thought about my grandmas house, and the upstairs. and i thoutht about rainy days and sidewalks. and i thought of tin roofs and potted plants. and I thought of bronz detailing and chiped paint. And i thought of phots i saw of my mom when she was a kid. And i thought of the blankets i had, and the jeen jacket tucked inbetewn my wall and bed. And now im qwite a lot happier. Becuase i realsied i do have wants, I want to be a person who takes care of themselfs. I want to care about the world. I want to create art. I want to expeinece art. I want to be cozy, and warm and safe. and I want to be cold with my hart pounding as I run throught a forest. And I want to feel the wind on my skin as the fading light from the horisen coats the world in shades of honey orange. And I want to hear the storys unravle. And i want hold people close. And i want to learn to make yummy food, and do complex math- and- an. a. I. I do want to live. Im sure I will forget that sometimes, expecitly sence ive ben hurting more ofeten. but this is a nice reminder that It changes. That we will be ok sometimes. I love you, goodnight.
(6/16/2024)
it's ben about 2ish months sence ive updated this. I don't know if anyone reads it. Thats ok. What drugs did I take to write any of this? I think it was the gayness. Hapyy pride month. yep, the true reson I started lising to music again, the true reson Im writeing even when its, so so so bad, the reson I stive to become true. It's all for that one part of me, and it's selfish and in love. Im just listenting to her breathing and maching up mine. When we walk side by side I try to sink up our steps. I don't know if she noticese, I just want to be beside her. It's probibly strange, but mabye it's cute. Thoughts slip from my lips, they tremble. I want to smile but my face hurts, And she lookes into my eyes and I dont realy want to look away. Can I become dust with you? I will float in the air, you can put your waight on me, and rest. I smiled at the thought of you, and they questioned what was up with me, and I staried into the windo, not noticing my legs swinging, love is made of many things. We are many things. I am never nothing, and maybe we are everything sometimes. omg, i know, i know, you didn't come here to read my gay ramble, unless- well it dosnt mater, you wana know whats going on in my epic and never boring life. Hm, well for starters I went on a walk today, with my family. I ate at Sonic for the first time, no its not realted to the heagehog (yes I am disapointed). I took an alrigy pill, and I talked to my girlfriend. I contiplated some rocks. I wached some tv, And I drank water. I wondered about the future, And ponderd the past. And i layed in bed, its to hot in my house, theres only two days of school left, and Im terified of that, but hey, when am I not scared of change?! I alwys fear the summer, every summer. Im quite dumb, and its a reminder that im still dumb. But it's never to late to get smarter. So during this summer I guesse Ill work on myself or something like that. Sorry for not saying much, talk later! night.
(7/9/2024)
Today I was reminded of the dumpster-fire drama comidy that is my writeing, as partially it is now cemented forever in an AI LTE.... That... that is sentence. That is what your here for. I'm like those swedish books in ikea, unlese you know the official language of Sweden it just looks like a lota text, a filler, a reson NOt to steal the diplay books. But... Oh-my-god I want text EVERYWERE (sometimes) I love a good diszying amout of visuwal grain and texture in my life unless I'm overstimulated. I'm often distracted by digital blurs. wether its an error to the site of divice, or humman the sepation of color and detail in letters that form rich black text is FASINATEING! Not to mention green and purple, they are opisets and my favoirt. I worte one time, a list of words, I, A DYSLEXIC person stugle rembereing how to spell and wirte. One of the words was opiset, it's actulay(actually) spelt(or spelled) opp o site. op po site. o p p o s i t e. i hope u had fun reading out the letters in your mind, or quitly wispering freakishly because you have to check that you read it corectly, and your dyslexic so you cant trust your eyes, and sometimes hearing the mistake outloud is the only way to realise youve ben puting the e where the second o is. My hand hurts from typeing at a wired angle and I keep thinking about how the bones in my hand have four long bones, and I realy wana reach out and spead them, but that would destory my palm. I havent gotten that much sleep, and its 12 26am tonight, so i should sleep. I hope i dont get arthrites or whatever it is where your hands disintragate slowly because i draw a lot, its my coolest feature about me, and it would SUCK if I couldnt draw. Actuly tho, im kinda gay so now i have gay motivations too. *dramatic yawn* lte-tyl!
(8/5/2024) If the earth is always spinning, then who am I. I am sooooooo good at writing things I regret, but man dose it fill up pages! I resently looked through my old text mesages with my friends, and man I have *NOT* changed. I still can't spell, I still (should I count how many times Ive said that? it has to be atleast 30 times, once per entry, unless I counted that wrong too...) Anyways, so I am comidicly dramatic (also sometimg ive said a thousand times) Like somethigns up with me man. Somethign that may never change. welp. And then, also wow I'm almost finshed watching supernatral! Sadly pintrist has accsidently spoilded the ending, I know somebody turns green and the hetrosexuwal car gose to heven. the other one did not get raptured tho, dispite what the drunk girl claimed. I wanana write more edggy thing but not realy, like I said its so not fun to read back. Sectence after sentence what am I doing with this time, I could do someting I want to, or plan for someting I need to do, and the do it. But rn, the sleepyness is crawiling on me and the bed is right there, I'll stay awake tho, summeres almost over and Ill be back to haveing to go not my room all day, and then I wont lay around so much and probibly feel better. I wanna buy new sewing supplise. I wanna find flowing water and rocks, I wanna wash my hand till its numb from the icey streem. I wanna smell fresh rain on the greens of spring. Stars are nice.
(10/7/2024) well now i wanna write but i already said I didn't wanna make you wait, anywyas back to the "you" that is unspisific. Do you like that cheek face is there? Just wanted to have music you can play while reading... uhhh beffore its 12 (its now 11:52) i gota say- LATER ill write more, im significly behind on my lte'ing and wy word count is hideius [expecialy if your counting corectly speled words] my cat just clawed a pilow and made it fall on her. also, I keep trying to write storyies, get a good first 3 paragrapgfs, and then never pick it up again... and when I do- GOD! they are bad. I'm quite bad at makeing chacters i've learned. When I make something that lasts it has a stupid bacground or was orginaly a joke. I keep trying to write examples, and its adding many words to this but I just wont let myself post any discripion of my cring oc's LOL I can tell you about the cool part, the thing that begs me to come abck to my embarising chacter lore, and that would be the ending. Ok, and I'll also give u the name! Hazle, a demention hopper. She acsidently messed with a gaget sending her off, but it shaderd forcieng ehr to grow up in a world where her other self was sickly. She was aised as a twin sister, and blamed for the inevidble death. They all belived she was a demon trying to replace the welthy man's daughter. She found another person who too was not supost to be there, and with help from them, fied the device and went on. Now yes, I want to delet that too u dont need to read my pathetic excuse for creativeity, Im holding back all the badly edgy deatals too. But if you don't knwo that then this next thing wont make sence. After adevers, long, short, fun, and scarry shes at a new but empty looking world. Her braclet (the gaget) won't work for some reson but she wants to leave. it looks dim, the land dead, and the night sky remnicet of static on old tvs. Befor she has time to panic, her reflection distorts and grabs her wrist, It's not realy her ofcorese- its Hazle from dimention 2029. THe number is just an estment from the dusty yet high tech computer-made from scraps left from another now dead paralel her. It seams someone found a way to coculate theire home placement! but they didnt have enughf energy. The others, where also all hazle, just 14 peole, elders, adoults, even teens like her, but unforitnaly one was just a child. Her story sounds identical to (main)Hazle, She recals only yesterday makeing the fated mistake. The reson her bracelet wont budge is because a they have a tower colecting the spificif energy needed. Now they just all have to wait untill 1 more hazle shows up and they can send them all home! ... Shes known for being secretive... The older ones have ben confituing to build a home, dispite planing to leave within days, they keep teaching the young girl ways of the worlds, and of horrors form beond. (main) Hazle is aposed, the kid has a chance to just go back, why would they ruin her reality like this?! -- ok its to late for me to trust that i wont hate re-reading it! pluz my favorit person is asleep so i should be too! goodnight readers and real rovers from mars.
(12/5/2024) One day ill look back and think "that wasnt a cringe update" but not today, maybe tomorow... I keep geting group projects and as much as I wanna belive I I love working with people, it almost always gets deraild. the sky is prettyer this time of year (:]) The little art I do get to spend time one while not being exauseted has lookd realy good!!! And i feel like I undersand what I want to become more(...yay?) I've been able to compleate things more, my A-bnormaly D-reamy H-air D-isorder med is defnitaly helping. Theres four days untill the gradeing cut off, and there two days untill the weekend and two days until my Pickles birthday, and theres an unknow number of days untill the moon explodes but I think I'm somehow going to be alright. I'm curently eating potstickers. Would it be weried of me to discuss my phisical form here? have I before? Sadly I am not actualy words on a page, well I wouldnt wanna be thiese words anyway but yk what I mean- I've got a body, and realy confuseing brain. but lemy telll you, dose it realy mader if ur not socializing well if ur siting by a cute girl enjoying the conversation and the sun is on your cold back and thought none of you are supost to be in that room? Cuz idk i think that was a good thing :3 now i just gotta like wake up not late so i can get dressed in comfterble clothse this time cuz i got a gift for Pickle's birthday and its eather the best or worst gift, and did anyone else read that short story called *not saying it cuz i dont wanna spoil it yet* because this reminds me so much of it and i wanna tell her not to sell her hairbrush- but that dosent realy make sence even if she knew what i was refrencing
(12/26/2024)
The other day I wrote an enry to put in my lte, but I forgot to put it in here, so umm, maybe il do that later. Ohhh updates!! the gift went really well :3 she loved it, i was refrencing was "The Gift of the Magi" a christmas story. Girl sells her hair to buy her husband a chain for his pocket watch, and he sells his pocketwatch to buy her a beufitfull comb for her hair... it is a litle dispreportinat, but anywayssfrjf it still dosent really make sence sence I bought her the pcketwatch... but ANYWYAS my brain can finaly let go of thinking bout this for like a year! I came home, explained a bad hallmark movie I was watching, and now don't know what to do. I'ts weird when things end well, and then you realise you still, Idk, need to contiue things. Multiple times in my life, I feel like i'm waiting for the time skip, or the credits to roll, but nope. I'm still here, there goals yet to compleate, life left to live, and a text document to wright into.//time skip LOL// I need to do workk- ummm gueighueijf yep. fine i'll stop writeing today, enjoy my nonsence!
(1/12/2025)
omg new year :0 its ben now just a little over a year sence i made this, also sorry if this entry is EXTRA spelt wrong- I'm nazle-y and i will spell words baced on my prenouciation. if i say "they don't have any more cheese" and im tired and sick it WILL sound like "ey dnon ave any ma cheese" that wasnt a verry good example but im TIRED TOO!!1 Art wize, I've found my styluses and it gives me LIFE as long as Ignore that my hands are weak cuz I never wanna get in a proper postion to hold the tablet, and i just end up drawing untill I litlerly can't. Thinking about this one place me and my friend I visted. I was verry sleepy in the overheated car, but the dim evening road views were the best. I just wish I could've stood outside on soft dirt to feel the warm wind on my skin. Idk, probibly a sidefect of being cozy and burning up. I think i felt verry close to the world there. That probibly dosnt make sence, or maybe it dose.. My nose hurts T^T... I miss the world I guess, gota make more time in my verry packed sceduwal of- laying in bed and ahving no energy. scedule... dual dewl dwall- I'll also go by Redz if red is already taken in whatever random shared spaces im on. SO! What do i do now? what was I talking about? I wrote to much for my sore and sleepy eyes to re-read... uhhgg its only 10:29pm so i wont sleep well if i begin that now but tomorow i have the schooling to go to. Ohhh and i gota make planing for this movie thing im makeing, and alao keep my rooom cleannnn,- Dear readers, yes you have sucsefully sused out that I, am often distracted. I bet I already mentiond this before, or it was imideatly identfiable by my writeing. ooo i got a doughnut today bythway, OMG AND!!! and, have i yet spoke of the infomus RIVERDALE? the series, it's AFUL!!! ITS GARBIGE ITS TVNJFEVNE BAD! heres some hightlites i took thought the first two episodes on my phone:-girls r gay(and fake gay?) -Archi beloved is now being aboused by a CREEEP -Veronica has ben striped of her orginal personalty... for resons? #music is deep and edgy and dark because FOOTBALL -who took the time to print his face on a gient poster for a school dance in like 2 days? -they refered to him as a horse in a weird way :( -OH SHOOT SHES DEAD -JAJAJAJAH THEY KEPT THE _*i couldnt figure out what i was trying to type here*_ -IF the gays had the guts to say it, so should've the teacher!!!! -He has a nightmare, and they show this by him having his abbs out, no pants, looking like he just did a mile and is now in a lizard cage THAT CONCLUDES my RIVERDALE notes. I un-thank you for reading. Now, who wants to keep reading when in reality there is a time leap for future me to create? in other words goodnight everyone.
(1/21/2025) I pull up in my epic car with a cool reconisable brand, I tilt my sunglasses up so u can see my sparkling eyes. They are verry tear filled. And with a voice that quickly brakes say "hey- I w- wish I wasn't here right now" [end secne] Alright whats going on today? I don't rembember to be honest. So much. I need my lte intro music. I need to make a project(multiple i think) in like two days. Maybe I shouldn't write today but it's to late because that was a wonderfull first sentence. Its geting dark so earily still. I'm not happy with the election resultsss uhng cya for now
(2/16/2025) i tryed to start this with dearest pickle but that was verry strange, ANYWAYS UPDATE UR LTEEE plz. as well as the others, verry sorry for my not reading the now many texts, but mayby it will keep mine from being read subcontiusly. Happy valintises day!(late ofcorse) but i was buzzy eating candy and loungeing around. STill watching riverdale, wich was momentaraly rivervale because no one knows how to write? Not that im good, I just can recognise realy bad. OH it snowed!!! I took a walk in the park, and my sneze sadly echoed in the frozen forest. At least i was in the more secret side, where the only movement was of a squiral and single leaf. I heard slightly creepy laugfter coming from one of the naigboring houses with a humongus yard. Im also still watchin a video so maybe I shouldnt be writeing right now but its too late.
(2/19/2025)
I came home more tired than usawal, my legs heavy and sore. But I think it was a good day. I felt better today. I felt like talking more, and I felt embarised less, and maybe its because I acnolaged it. But she's probably right and I need more sleep :'3
(2/20/2025)
You heard it right, the worst lte on the internet has infact updated again! I don't want to write right now but maybe that's actualy a good thing lol. So sorry to my future self whom will will have to look back and find this forever acrhived... OH! but the other day I did write something that at least sounded entertaining to read: [My brittal branches must be outstreched or surly I will fall into the darkness I've spent my life crawling out from. I wasn't ment for this sun, my pines sparkle and burn. I want to embrase the crooked paths my sister saplings spring, but the wind is cold, and I am not barrin. Where is the shelter for the tallest tree, but a storm? I see my mirror life sway yet stand for I am beside her. I feel my roots hold in place the land I grow opon. How badly I want to let go. Let the light show its true power, strike me, burn me, cause alarm in the world! But the grumbles of thunder are shorter than the ones in my heart. As a calm washes the land below, I stand even more tence. -tree.] mmmmm I will reisit my immediate criteak... critique crit i que.... ok. I spelt immediate wrong too but fixed it- still, I'm-me,-dia-ate? oh wait no that works. Anyways the bigest problem is actualy that evergreens have a high heat tolorence so it wasn't the best plant to write this as. I guess it's a weirdly big young pine? Or it's just a strange tree, and thats why It thinks it should be able to get all funky like the mapels wich are there for some reson. ok well I gota keep working now so cya!- Redz
(2/28/2025)
Today's another gradeing cut off, I've also been meaning to start using my new guash, or how ever it's spelt, again. If you havent heard of it, or my spelling is that unrecomprehenceable, gouache is this weird mediem(meaning inbetween in this context) of acrilic and water color. It's activated by water and even reactivate on the page, but it can also be thick and opaque. I made a quick drawing of a chacter I was trying to add in a litle dnd like story. The glass people, whom are basicly crystal-esk shapeshifters. Also I can't tell if its the song's crunchy style or if my headphones are actualy brakeing. But back to the charactor, This race dosn't have a natral origanal shape, or at least if they do its quickly frogoten after birth. I imagen the shifting to be like murcury's reaction to magnets (except there a secound layer underneath like it's "bones" are fractureing with flat angular cleavige and somehow merging)and if you've ever sean a video(of the magnets & murcury) then you should know how cool it looks when its draged throught the sample dish- so when mimicing another being fully, it happens in chunks, starting and spreading from its eyes, or at lest head. If it dose happen to change into something or someone without eyes, it can become semi-translucent and create creepy internal eyes... SO ANYWAYS the drawing is of a glass person in in the form of an elvin princess or royalty. It was supost to be mid transformation, but after the expreshion made them look like the terrified one. While maybe they could be unsettled by their own morphing, I don't suspect its fun to make an entire outfit or accsesorys out of your own body wich could be carlessly interacted with by unsuspecting people- thus by the fact they were dressed this was likely a detrasformation. To make the page less blank, and play with my poor recollection of fantisy magic systems, I tryed to add a wand casting a spell to brake the facade(i was checking the spelling and the c was funky:façade) but rater than badly adding another cheezy comic book blast to a stick, i had it be an orb clasped in the severd claw of a phoenix at the end of a staff. I also made the orb swirly like hot soup. I do wonder if you have to sever another foot everytime the bird becomes ash, because I don't think any of its live or dead body can contiune to exist after reencarnation or whatever they call it. (OMG I THINK ITS MY LAPTOP LOL the adio if fucnkkkkkkeddd) I think I'll need to take a picture of my scetch before I paint, I'm also considering adding pen inking. oh wait I hadn't finished explaing- Rather than giving the blast/magic an outline I I used some roundish shadeing in the background fadeing it out, aswell as having the hair blown away and the reviealed cristal face [well it gets worse when i bump the cord so mby my only headphones are just brakeing dang] is sprouting out slivers, that branch more slivers, like the hair on a cat when spooked. Since the bace meterial is mistaken for cristal im guessing its gonna shine like crazy during this, so I pulled out from the unshaded plains like light is refracting. Isn't there a simpiler term for that? Ok but if I spend all night writeing about it i'll forget to paint it again. Today was pretty good btw. next time reader, next line...
(3/3/2025)
Wow it really is 2025 now. The school's hall still have the same sent as the first day I visited it. I've been talking with this one kid sence the new semester statted, and they know my name, and apently we've know eatchother for a long time- But I CAN'T rembember you her name- or when we first met. I rembere decideing to try and make conversation before I became someone expectiedly alone and quite, but now they talk to me like a close friend wich is fine but like theres so many posiblitys of whom this is... who knows maybe everything on here is a lie and im a forty five yearold man with seven kids and a phd in ecology, like I have NO isues spelling, I'm just playing into the character. Someone told me to rembember character as char actor but that would spell charactor wich is not right, it's char act er. Really wish I wrote this all in a more entertaining and eaieir to read way, but who knows! Maybe everyone'll decide the un deciferable logs are only worth bairly skiming and save me the embarisement. I need to get a chacter counter, and posibly a "click to get to the latest most downword entry on this page of curent update!" butten. goodnight -Gonsoldo, lover of cheese
(3/4/2025)
Rembere that time this was pasted with the other lte's into some genorator and it made a terrorfing amaligamation of the entryies? How do i stop other ai sights from eating up my text or do I just have to sadly deal with it... I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS TEXT BEING USED BY A.I.!!! I WILL SUE YOU FOR FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! wait what if a note like that is what they look for- uh. Ok back to wording, I re-read a story I've been working on and oh dear was it bad- I changed it up somewhat to change the flow aswell as makeing it more digestable. I actuly did a lot of writeing, like with my esay too, it still needs TONS of work but it's finaly takeing form! Tomorow will be a weird day- some sorta school festavle, wich wasn't to bad the first time we'd done it (last year) but I'm not looking forward to spening it with my homeroom class for our teacher is slowly loseing their mind... Fren Jeckorson. Ok well its late and im gona stop typeing now, so sorry for the shorter entry byeeee!
(3/5/2025)
omg daily lte-er? lets go??? im gona write more later today, even tho its the evening already- since I kinda maybe wanna sleep, whom knows.
(3/11/2025)
NOOOOO I FORGOT!!!1 so sorry to you. Um, Im not sure what to write right now so how about I discribe a situation to imagin yourself in? You wake up to a ticking sound. You look up to find that it's 6 oclock (you can read analog) and you'er in a small warm office. The stripes of fadeing golden light implyse it's past miday. You look to your hands, wich have shadows of roller shutters- this makes you stupidly glance into the sun through the windo. The pain forces you to shut your eyes, and instictualy block it with your arms- wich looked quite silly to the man who just opend the door you hadn't somehow noticed. Perplexed, he starts to slowly back away, but the click of the handle was startaling and so you stand quickly and back into the oposing corner. His blury sillowet is unfamiler, yet avrage. Standing around a foot or more lower than the door frame, with verry short hair, a less than athletic build, and a pale, probably blue, fitting button up, slightly darker slacks, and shoes that were yet to be in your focuse.
(3/18/2025)
ok time to not brag now, goodnight! cya my lawfully wedd-ed readers!
(3/22/2025) well... times have changed... theres words of war, demeional hopping- why did i join the lte mincraft server. I must resume my life-ly duties as student who passes but there is time to dicuses what I have done. Also why is there ANTOHER random bruise on my knee??? i sware they are just apeareing- but yes back to my acomplishments!!! I revamped the bacement of a villagers home, begain a garden and mine. Thises are typical, but I've decided I need to clame the village as my own. If I can comand the town as king I will be unstopable. In the world that is real tho, aparently I didn't beat that one random person >:( there still ahead of me, and if they have wrient recently then they will contiune like this!! I planed on writeing more but I also am a buzy at the shoe factory. where I make shoes. yep. why is it so late in the day aleady, i have goten out of bed like only once. Theres a roll of tape on my desk, and maybe I should clean my room. Oh I practiced music yesterday, and looked up sewing stuff! I bought things to sew because I realllyyy miss it. umm, sence ive been made aware of the time i shall now stop writeing byeee!
(5/6/2025) I went throguh and deleted things, im down servral words and may never catch up but i think its better if my page is lost to time. It took litaral houres but its better than not doing that. LOL. Im sad to say, my lte should have never been made. no maybe you're sad (but ur realy not) to hear that but its ok. i'm often, too often, saying things. I love our homely mc server, so i won't demolish my lte but this is more like a bad web diary and in the scary future it will somehow be my downfall if I'm ever elected leader of anything. So what now? um. I don't know. oh my website hit counter died. dang.